After India
After about a month and a half of living in India, I felt like I lived there, and still had a month and a half left. When we left the ashram, I wondered why people were staring at us, as I had become so ingrained in the daily life, forgetting where I was from and what I looked like. The main reason for me to be in India was to work with my creative partner on a Polaroid project asking local people what they want to do before they die. Other goals were to work on myself spiritually and get healthy again and to experience the culture. The ideas for these pieces originated from my visions during meditation while staying at the ashram and thereafter, and the drawings were done before returning home. The pieces were greatly affected also by my experiences since reentering the US, since they were assembled here. All of the materials were picked up off of
the litter-filled streets of each town we would visit; from Delhi to Amenebhad, Kochin to Varanasi. The writings (on the back of each piece and journal-style on paper) serve to reflect both my time in India and life since coming home. India is a world 180 degrees different than any way I am used to, but I adapted to life there quickly. The reverse culture shock and what else lay ahead when I returned were beyond my imagination, however. I had been hearing of difficulties of life in the US, from the brutal winter to massive layoffs of my friends and family, each with their own personal story of heartache. So many changes in everyone’s lives and the life of our country as a whole, and after such a turbulent year already, with my recent divorce, end of my partnership at my gallery, travelling for work, and relocation of home and studio, I was thankful to be far away from the current stress. The inevitable time for me to step
into the bath of hot water that everyone else was in came about a week after I returned. Depressed, trying to hold on to what I had learned in India, cold weather, no home to come back to(subleased...), feeling out of place, facing my changed values and desires in life, working on the project, a book deal and on an upcoming show,grappling with my own personal changes, a different way of life, no money...you name it, I was experiencing it, and it was not the pleasant homecoming I had wished for. I was invited to stay with my boyfriend while my place was still unavailable, and so, with few other options
and with months of built-up passion, I took the opportunity. One week after, the violence started, and then ended three weeks ago when he tried to kill me and I left. Amongst working on these pieces, I have been slowly moving back into my home, trying to find a semblance of a normal life again, prosecuting my ex-boyfriend, applying for food stamps and other federal aid, talking to detectives, estrangement from my parents and then reuniting when my mom enters the hospital under critical conditions, starting a new job, going to counseling, learning karate, experiencing the agony of a break-up, figuring out who my true friends and family are, keeping up my meditation, feeling terrified and hunted, writing, learning Polish, continuing with divorce proceedings, working on my compassion, along with other tasks. I had a feeling this would be a year of challenges through change, but I never expected this. This has been my life after India.
the litter-filled streets of each town we would visit; from Delhi to Amenebhad, Kochin to Varanasi. The writings (on the back of each piece and journal-style on paper) serve to reflect both my time in India and life since coming home. India is a world 180 degrees different than any way I am used to, but I adapted to life there quickly. The reverse culture shock and what else lay ahead when I returned were beyond my imagination, however. I had been hearing of difficulties of life in the US, from the brutal winter to massive layoffs of my friends and family, each with their own personal story of heartache. So many changes in everyone’s lives and the life of our country as a whole, and after such a turbulent year already, with my recent divorce, end of my partnership at my gallery, travelling for work, and relocation of home and studio, I was thankful to be far away from the current stress. The inevitable time for me to step
into the bath of hot water that everyone else was in came about a week after I returned. Depressed, trying to hold on to what I had learned in India, cold weather, no home to come back to(subleased...), feeling out of place, facing my changed values and desires in life, working on the project, a book deal and on an upcoming show,grappling with my own personal changes, a different way of life, no money...you name it, I was experiencing it, and it was not the pleasant homecoming I had wished for. I was invited to stay with my boyfriend while my place was still unavailable, and so, with few other options
and with months of built-up passion, I took the opportunity. One week after, the violence started, and then ended three weeks ago when he tried to kill me and I left. Amongst working on these pieces, I have been slowly moving back into my home, trying to find a semblance of a normal life again, prosecuting my ex-boyfriend, applying for food stamps and other federal aid, talking to detectives, estrangement from my parents and then reuniting when my mom enters the hospital under critical conditions, starting a new job, going to counseling, learning karate, experiencing the agony of a break-up, figuring out who my true friends and family are, keeping up my meditation, feeling terrified and hunted, writing, learning Polish, continuing with divorce proceedings, working on my compassion, along with other tasks. I had a feeling this would be a year of challenges through change, but I never expected this. This has been my life after India.
